So I’ve always been a big girl. But five years ago, I lost about 40 pounds and had been doing a pretty darn good job keeping it off. I began eating cleaner, exercising on a regular basis (signed up for a gym membership and everything)—just practicing an all-around healthier lifestyle. However, around six months ago, I started to slack off. I slowly began to visit the gym less frequently, and progressed to eating a bunch of bullshit.
Bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit.
So, of course, I began to gain my weight back. And the more I ate, the less time I spent at the gym, which means those 40 pounds just started rolling back in. I could’ve stopped myself, sure. But honestly speaking, I just got lazy. (Shrugs.)
When it comes to horrible food choices, one of my main spots is Domino’s. (Booooy, I love me some mild wings and cheesy bread!) So a little while ago, I ordered the usual (plus some plain cheese pizza for my little sis’) and the guy who usually handles deliveries in my area was working that day. I don’t know his name, but he’s a cool lil’ buff Nigerian dude who always has something sarcastic to say when he sees me. Sadly, Mr. Nigeria is very familiar with my face because those Domino pizza orders have been going down in my household a liiiiiiiiiiitle too often these days. Still in all, it had been a few months since I last saw him because, for some reason, they’d had a bunch of random drivers coming through the last few times I had ordered.
Ring, ring! I get the call that he’s outside. Boom! I’m on the porch. So he gets out the car and as soon as he sees me, all I hear is his heavy African accent shouting, “Awwooo! What have you been doing? You’re getting BIG!” (Disrespectful, I know.) Hence, the hood came out of me and I’m like, “My mans, you’re delivering Domino’s to my door right now. What the hell you think I been doing? Eating bullshit like pizza [faaaawwwwk you mean?]!”
He threw a few more jokes at me, gave me my food, took his money, and left. But I’m like, Damn, even this mofo noticed I’m starting to look wide and all outside. Bruh!
This has to stop.
Moral of the day: when the pizza delivery man comments on you gaining weight, you know it’s time for your fat ass to knock that cheesy bread and those mild chicken wings off your plate.