Let’s Talk About It: Does Interracial Dating Compromise Pro-Blackness?

interracial dating

As pro-Black, afro-puffin’ and fist-pumpin’ as I am, I’ve often wondered if people would deem me as a fraud if I ever dated a man outside my race. Would people see me as a hypocrite or someone who really doesn’t value the Black race like I say I do if I were seen flaunting a man with skin whiter than a hockey team? There’s a certain pressure for Black people to think and behave a particular way when it comes to how we interact with other races, especially in relation to dating. Take Kendrick Lamar, for instance.

In case you haven’t heard, a few weeks ago, a Black activist who advocates for the empowerment of “dark-skinned women” slammed Kendrick for getting engaged to his girlfriend of nearly 10 years, Whitney Alford, who happens to be a fair-complexioned woman. Likewise, Romeo Miller was recently forced to defend himself after being attacked for sporting a White girl on his arm. Although K. Dot’s fiancé appears to be of African descent, the angry activist’s condemnation of his decision to marry a light-skinned woman is rooted in the same criticism handed out to Black men like Romeo who find companionship in women outside of the Black race.

But let’s pretend that Whitney is White. Would that in turn eliminate Kendrick’s authenticity as a pro-Black leader? Does the fact that Romeo is courting a full-blown blonde make him a sell-out? Let’s think about that, because if our measurement of “blackness” is based on what race we date, then it’s time we reevaluate the quality of the fabric that constitutes who and what we are.

Why, in 2015, are we still upset about interracial dating? Why, in 2015, do we associate a Black man (or woman’s) decision to date outside their race with a lack of self-esteem or pride for people whose skin rivals the soil of the Earth or the darkness of the night? It happens all too often, especially with our Black men. Every time one of our stars, or even the Average Joe walking down the street, is seen with a non-Black woman, the “he don’t like his momma’s,” “he don’t like himself’s” and the “sad, sellout” jabs start rolling in.

Why can’t a brotha like Romeo, who mentioned that he’s dated all types of women, including ones “as black as Akon,” be with a non-Black woman without scrutiny and backlash? Isn’t it possible that a Black person could bleed love beyond skin color? If a person who prides themselves on their African roots and Black culture finds their soul mate in an individual as pale as a block of ivory, they shouldn’t feel like they can’t pursue happiness without someone questioning their character. (But oh, wait. God wouldn’t possibly create mate compatibility between people who fall into different human-constructed racial lines because our higher being is just at prejudice as we are. I almost forgot.)

We have to be pretty shallow to expect a person to confine to dating in a racially-defined box based on a general history of Black oppression at the hands of White supremacists. And we have to be even more audacious in thinking we have the power to revoke a person’s “Black pass” simply because they’ve found love in someone whose skin tone is opposite theirs. I personally feel like it’s absurd to refute a person as pro-Black or deem them a disgrace simply because they step beyond color lines. But I know everyone holds different views, for their own reasons.

So let’s talk about it: is a person’s pro-Blackness, or Blackness in general, comprised when they date outside of their race? Leave your thoughts below.


About Cecily Michelle (553 Articles)
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6 Comments on Let’s Talk About It: Does Interracial Dating Compromise Pro-Blackness?

  1. As a black person who would otherwise like the label pro-black because of what it should naturally mean (ex. working
    towards/being in favor of black people’s well-being), I’ve stopped using it because its meaning has been distorted into this retrograde philosophy.

    The idea that black people have to only date or marry black people so that the black “race” can continue through their children is one of the most reactionary ideas the I’ve ever heard and it’s shocking to hear it so widely parroted. It upholds the racial categories, which were created for the sole purpose to oppress black people. It’s also misogynistic and heterocentric in assuming everyone gets married to have kids and every woman should have kids. It creates further internal divisions by casting inherent suspicion on mixed people. It ignores black partnerships with non-white people. And finally, it interferes with a right that I believe is sacred, namely, to involve yourself romantically and sexually with whomever you see fit. As a black gay man who has suffered the same from society throughout my whole life, that really offends me to the core of soul.

  2. Forgive me for the simplicity of this comment but I’d like to add in how the context and texture of a White Supremacist society shapes our lives on many levels (beauty standards, sexuality, intellectual modes of thinking, morality…etc). Now, because we ALL have to navigate our way in and eventually OUT of this White Supremacist (Imperialistic, Capitalistic, Patriarchal) society, we have to make our own lifestyle decisions and I believe that interracial or monoracial dating (friendships…etc) is one of them. My only hangup is that some people fail to recognize how White Supremacy affects and influences our relationships. Its up to us to take it a step further in how we choose to be Pro-Black within those relationships (black-black and black-white…etc). Its even in platonic relationships, so interracial dating isn’t the Most special and in my humble opinion I believe that being Pro-Black is fundamental at the personal level where our whole beingness and practices our criticized and we then try to transform ourselves and our relationships. So the question would be, how to be Pro-Black in this X, Y and Z relationship and how is it transformative and revolutionary

  3. For me personally there is only one race, the human race. And from my experience there are always ignorant people who will hate on it. Me and my woman like to joke about it, like I’m the bacardi and she is the coke. Lol. We get hate from both sides. We have actually learned to make a jokes about the haters, to us our love conquers all BS. As for the pro black statement, sounds a little counter productive and ignorant to me. Good post. Peace and love.

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