No need to keep rubbing your eyes, you read that right. And no, it’s really not a joke. Waka Flocka Flame is running for president. (Oh Lawwd!)
He promised that he would after the 2012 Presidential Election, and he’s holding true to his word.
So, what would a blunt-rolling, loud rapping, loc-headed hood like Waka do as President? Well, first thing first, he’s legalizing that Snoop Dogg, that sticky-icky, that ooh-wee (that’s weed people.) Secondly, Flocka’s banning dogs from ALL restaurants and forcing people with a shoe size bigger than a 13 to stick to public transportation only. (No big ass Ronald McDonalds walking around on the pavement–his words, not mine.)
He also vows to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, and improve the education system, partly by making it mandatory for students to “learn” his lyrics. (Didn’t know Waka had lyrics that were suitable to study, but ok.) His vice president? Give me your wildest guess (like a trap-rappin’ rapper running for president isn’t wild enough)…okay, no need to bust-your-brains: DJ Whoo Kid.
While I’m sure he would bring peace and happiness to oppressed peoples all over the globe with his Roll-one-light-one initiative, truth be told, Mr. Juaquan James Malphurs doesn’t meet the age requirement to officially run for the head of state (you have to be at least 35 to be eligible). But I’m starting to think that everyone got that memo but him.
Take a look at Waka’s campaign video below. #HesSerious
If you could, would you be voting for Mr. Flame as our next president?