My mom used to always tell me stories about how my great-grandmother would not only fix my great-grandfather’s plate for him at meal time, but that she would cut his food up for him into small pieces like she were feeding a baby. Granted, this duo was raised during a time when female-male dynamics in a relationship were completely different, and women heavily depended on their husbands to provide for them and their families.
In 2015, things are a lot different. Women are bent on this “independent” movement (especially Black women), and feel like certain duties adopted by our grandmothers and great-grandmothers aid misogynistic values. Well, I guess that’s why the question of whether or not a woman should fix her man’s plate went viral on Twitter.
Some of you may think this is a dumb ass question. Really, people are debating over this? There are more important things in a relationship to worry about than who’s fixing plates and serving food, you say. But I think this is an interesting discussion because it clues us into people’s thoughts and views on modern day gender roles.
See, I’m the type of chick who doesn’t have a problem making my boo thang a fat plate of grub and bringing it to him. But he shouldn’t expect me to always do it. There’s a time and place for everything; the circumstances and environment play a huge role in whether or not I’ll automatically jump up and grab his grub (like if we’re at one of my family cookouts and he’s not comfortable or familiar with anyone there, then fixing his plate is a no-brainer; and I’d expect him to do the same thing for me if the tables were reversed). Even though I don’t mind serving my man, I believe that little things like catering to your mate shouldn’t be a one-way street and men should take the initiative to wait on their ladies as well.
But this now-viral question on social media mapped-out a whole scenario that threw in an interesting twist:
Listen: I wish a b*tch would! The question of whether or not you should automatically fix your man’s plate at an outing is one thing (even though the way this scenario is played out makes dude sound really misogynistic; like, you don’t have hands and feet bruh?), but having another woman not only offer to make your man a plate in front of you, but the heffa actually making it and serving it to him IN FRONT OF YOU, now that’s a whole other story!
That’s total and complete disrespect, and it sounds to me like ol’ girl is trying to find her teeth chillin’ on the concrete right next to that ground beef that’s about to get knocked out of her hands and onto the floor.
Ladies, what do you think about this debate? Should you fix your man’s plate at public outings? Would you fix his plate at a BBQ if he told he was hungry? And how would you handle another woman offering to fix your man’s plate for him if you ignored his request?